Under-employed

I'm not sure if I made it clear earlier that I am currently unemployed and working as a stay-at-home mom, which I love. Let me rephrase: I love being able to stay at home with my son; not so much loving the unemployed/"not getting paid for it" part. Well, technically I guess I *am* getting paid, because I'm getting unemployment. For now, that is. Eventually it will run out, and at that point we really have to have some other form of income, or my husband will have to be making enough to cover my lost wages. At this juncture, that just doesn't seem too likely, considering how high our region's unemployment is, how horrid the job market is continuing to look around here, and all the rest that comes along with that. So, to cut it short, I'm looking for work-- a "real" job, one that will take me away from my baby but also make it possible to keep buying him formula and diapers. You know, paychecks do come in handy sometimes. :)

And it's also kind of nice to consider going back into work somewhere. Not at my last job, thank you very much, but in an entirely different field, if possible. Social services is very rewarding, but also very draining at times and especially so when working with the most at-risk population possible. I need a break to rejuvenate my soul and renew my interest in working... hopefuly, something that is very different from what I was doing before, but where I can still use the skills and abilities that came in handy at my previous positions. Next week I will be going through "Phase 2" of the job search for two different positions; one in human resources, and one in a sort of planning/scheduling position. I don't really want to give too much detail, just in case The Man is watching my humble blog and wants to rat me out to The System. You never know...

Anyway, I'm excited about the possibilities, and about the idea of being able to afford little luxuries like new socks or a haircut, but I'm also a bit frightened about leaving my baby boy again. It was so hard on me last time. Of course, he was much younger then, but I'm not sure it'll be any easier now. Still, all said and done, I'm taking a job if it's offered to me. If I need to work to help provide for the family, then that's what I'll do. Period. And then cry at night sometimes because I miss my baby. :(