Fuffoo

Ethan said the sweetest, most touching, adorable thing this morning. It really moved my heart, and almost brought me to tears as well. It was early, and Joel was just getting ready to leave for work. Ethan called him over to say goodbye. The exchange went something like this:

Ethan: "Daddy, 'mere!"
Joel: (walks over) "Okay, buddy, I have to go now."
Ethan: "Kisses." (points to mouth)
Joel: (kisses Ethan) "Aw, thanks, buddy, I love your kisses!"
Ethan: "Hug." (lifts arms up)
Joel: (hugging Ethan) "You give great hugs!"
Ethan: "Bye daddy, fuffoo!"

And that's where my heart was seized by his two little hands and squeezed, ever so gently. Because "fuffoo" is his way of saying "I love you." And it was the first time he's really said it, at the right time, unsolicited, and fully cognizant of what it means. It was amazing. Now, when's my turn? ;)

He Shoots, He Scores!

Ethan's auntie Elena brought him a glow in the dark basketball hoop and backboard, and he immediately became an athletic marvel the likes of which I'd never seen before.



It took him a little while to figure out how this whole "ball-goes-in-basket" thing worked, but as it turns out-- he's a fast learner.



And man, did he get a kick out of seeing that ball swoosh through the hoop!



Of course, there was also a bit of a learning curve in terms of what body part my little athlete was supposed to be using in order to get the ball over to the hoop in the first place...



But at least he had fun. And we had even more fun, I think, just watching him. I also like that the ball will glow ever so gently each night when he's getting ready for bed; it reminds me of the color of phosphorescence in the Gulf waters, that otherworldly blue-green-yellow shimmer, so soothing and calm. I used to think it must be the color of mermaids floating just out of sight beneath the still, dark waters, gazing back up at us as we stared out into the sea...

Auntie love.

Ethan really loves spending time with his aunties, and has enjoyed every minute he's spent with my sister Elena.


I love that they get along so well, and that I can use him as an excuse to drag her over to the house more often. Oh, the lure of those big blue eyes...


They get me, too, so I totally understand their magnetic power over others.

Christmas Eve

Tonight we will celebrate Christmas with my parents and sisters, as well as my niece Leila. So far, I think the plan is to get there around 4 p.m. or so, and then have dinner while watching White Christmas. Dinner is going to be prime rib, roasted potatoes, savory bread pudding with mushrooms and parmesan, salad, and apple pie. Sounds simple, soothing, and perfect. :)

In honor of the day, here's a picture of one of Jim Shore's Santa figurines... I love his nativity sets, too, so maybe someday we'll add some of his stuff to our Christmas decorations. One day...

Ornamentally Speaking

I love Christmas. I love the decorations, the sentiments, the focus on others, the weather, the smells of cinnamon and pine and cider... and I especially love ornaments. I have a few that are my current favorites. For instance, flying Santa.



I originally bought him as my offering for an ornament exchange at a work holiday party. I loved him so much that, when it came to be my turn to take someone else's gift or grab a new one, I took Santa back. I think he enjoyed coming back home.



Ethan's favorite ornament is the little lamb that I found at a church yard sale one year. He loves it because it reminds him of Timmy the lamb, from Timmy Time-- his current favorite cartoon in the universe. It's actually pretty awesome, and is filmed in stop-motion just like Wallace & Gromit. I love it too, if you can't tell. Every time he wants to watch TV now, he says "Baaa!" just like Timmy. Too bad the only way you can get one of their stuffed dolls is to have it shipped from England for an exorbitant price. Bummer!

Happy Halloween!!

A friend of mine recently sent me an email with a link to the coolest Halloween card ever, and I just have to share. It was so well done that it needs to be appreciated by more people!

This year, our Halloween looks like it's going to be a lot more fun than usual, which is nice because these are tough times and we need a break every so often. Last year we had fun taking Ethan to the Halloween parade at the Farmer's Market and then having "grown-up" time that night-- we went to a Halloween house party and then headed downtown for some dancing at Bacchus. This year, we're going to take Ethan down to the Farmer's Market parade only if it isn't raining (boo!) and then he'll spend Saturday night with my sister and niece over at Grandma's house. Because of their kindness (many thanks!), Joel & I will be able to head out to San Francisco to a Halloween party; it'll be the first time we've been in the City for Halloween. I am so looking forward to it! Not only will it be grown-up time, but it will be costume dress up and dancing and San Francisco-- my three favorite things ever-- all rolled up into one.

On Sunday, we're going to have my niece Leila and a couple of her friends over for a low-key Halloween party. They'll carve pumpkins, toast pumpkin seeds, eat gross-looking food like barbecued worms (slivered hot dogs) and gremlins (chocolate + Fiber One = deliciousness), then get all costumed up and go trick-or-treating.

Our costumes this year are the following: Joel is going as the clown doctor from Childrens Hospital...

(he has the same face make-up as John Wayne Gacy, the serial killer... I guess laughter isn't always the best medicine!)

Ethan is going to be a zombie Diego...

PLUS


And I'm going to do my version of a scary nurse, along the lines of this... kinda.


Anyway, I can't wait! Halloween ROCKS!

Grandpa Moments

Ethan really likes to spend time with his Grandpa Larry. Unfortunately, my dad had to go back to work recently and leaves right when Ethan is waking up from naptime. It makes scheduling visits a lot more difficult, and so they've been missing out on time together lately.


At least he has one grandfather he can love on and grow up with, though. One of Joel's major regrets is that his own dad isn't around to share this time with our family. We take Ethan up to visit Joel's mom Emelia and the rest of his family in the Oakdale area when we can, but even that isn't as often as we'd hope.


It seems like it should be easier, considering that we all live relatively close to one another, but with appointments and schedules and just life in general, things tend to get busy quick and we let weeks go by without a visit. I hope to change that soon... or at least as soon as we can get a good enough income to not worry about paying for gas for those visits. Hopefully this year!

Birthday BBQ

To celebrate the birthdays of my niece Leila and my sister Adrienne, we hosted a barbecue on the third weekend in April. Here are some photos to remember the day...

Ethan loves to play with his Aunt Elena. And she always has a great time, too. PS-- Notice how long her hair is? Careful not to trip over it next time, Auntie!


Here are the two birthday girls, going through the time-honored ritual of "shake it and see what's inside..."


Joel, sporting his "I'm older than I look" facial hair. Hot, hot hot!


And finally, my darling boy, so much cuter than he has any right to be:


Don't I have a great family?

Happy Birthday, Adrienne!

You've come a long, long way, baby sister. Thirty years ago, a little girl entered our family...


... and stole our hearts!


No matter how grown up you get, I will always remember this girl, and her absolute zest for life. I'm so proud of you and how you have conquered many of life's challenges without becoming jaded or negative. You are an inspiration to me! Can't wait to celebrate with you.

The Positive, The Negative, The In-Between

The thought of finally going back to work is laden with both the positive and the negative...

The UP Side:
- Steady income that won't run out, whereas unemployment checks will eventually stop
- Health insurance!
- Making new connections to other adults in the workplace
- Feeling like I'm contributing to the community again through my work
- Ethan will get to socialize with more kids once he gets into daycare
- Possibly moving towards the Bay Area, which means:
> more job opportunities for Joel
> closer to SF for day trips and such
> better bike paths and walking paths
> nicer weather than Modesto (i.e., cooler)
- Moving closer to certain friends and family

The Down Side:
- No longer being able to spend every day with my son... this is HUGE for me
- Moving away from my mom & dad and sisters, as well as other family and some close friends (and my BFF!)
- Moving, in general-- YUCK! The packing, the hassle, the headache, the cost
- Commuting at first to Oakland, which is 1.5 hrs away without traffic and up to 2.5 during rush hours.. U.G.H.
- Having to find all new friends and babysitters and so on wherever we move
- More expensive rent (up to $500/month higher than we're paying now)

Anyway... I'm trying to stay positive and think of the good side, but those first two issues (missing Ethan and leaving my family/friends) are pretty tough ones. Will try to keep my thoughts focused on my goals: Surviving and thriving for and with my family. We can do it.

Hubba Honda

Joel really likes his Honda. And by "really likes," I mean loves. And by "loves," I mean he thinks it's great and all but can't wait to get a slighter bigger one someday. Ah, the fickle nature of man.


He just changed the handlebars to lower them and make them more like a cafe racer. And the lights, and a few other things... all I know is, it looks great. And Ethan thinks it's awesome, too. He absolutely loves getting up there and playing around with the various buttons and knobs and controls on the motorcycle. And he can spend forever just tinkering around the bike, touching the shiny chrome and finding out where all the dirtiest parts are. Never a dull moment, as long as there are gears and metal pieces and tools and mechanical bits to play with. Like father, like son!

King of Malls

We took a family trip to the Westfield Valley Mall in San Jose last weekend. What a cool place! Huge, and maze-like, but with so much variety that it makes up for constantly being lost and having to use GPS and spidey sense to find your way around. Here's an aerial view:


Pretty neat. I'd love to go back sans-bebe so that we can look around more and do some actual shopping. We had a very tasty lunch there, too. We had fish 'n chips, clam chowder, and shrimp cocktail from Ivar's. It's fast food, but quite yummy. Ethan loved to eat the little shrimp, and (of course) noshed on the fries with gusto.


My craving for seafood lately has been out of control; later this week I'll be making shrimp with red pepper and angel hair pasta, a recipe I stole off of Gordon Ramsay's new cooking show. I only wish he'd include ingredient measurements; it helps, when cooking.

My Beautiful Family

We were lucky enough to spend time with some dear friends of ours early in March at a combined birthday party for J, C, and B. At the party, they were so kind as to provide the services of a photographer to take some portrait shots and spontaneous pics throughout the day. We got these lovely pictures to commemorate the event; what a great gift!

All wrapped up in each other...


Catching a free ride with Daddy...


And finally, Ethan reaches his limit with the posing and such. He wants to go play, and tells me so fairly clearly: "Down!"


Thanks, Mom!


Ain't love grand?

Papa Love

I'm so proud of Joel, and how he is turning out to be such a great father.


He is so good with Ethan. He is affectionate, loving, and tender, but also has fun and plays games and runs around the house with him. He gets up in the middle of the night to change diapers even when he's to-the-bone tired, and cleaned bottles like a pro (when we were still using them). He is a good man, I believe, and an awesome dad. I can't wait for Ethan to know him better.

Pele, Watch Out

I know, I know; Pele is sooo "back in the day." I should be saying Beckham, if I want to only seem a few years out of date rather than hopelessly backwards. Either way, the soccer world is now on alert: Joel is teaching Ethan how to play already!



He even has his own trick moves. And all while holding his refreshing beverage!



Now, how many dads at the park that day could say they did that? Not many, that's for sure. I'm really glad that Ethan is going to have such a great example of a healthy, fun, fit, athletic, and active father to look up to as he grows. It's nice to know that he will be able to play and exercise and be active with Joel, but also be able to have fun and be silly and act like a kid. I really do love that Joel has held onto his youthfulness and zest for life, and that he hasn't started saying "I'm getting old" like so many of our friends. Why do people just give up and start acting like they're too old for things, especially after they get married? How boring! I hope we never end up like that.

Stroke

I apologize for not posting for so long. First, we had the busy days of preparing for Ethan's birthday party/our family holiday party on December 19th... then, that same week, we had a pretty scary medical event take place. On Thursday the 17th I dropped Ethan off with his grandparents and aunt for a couple of hours so that we could have some baby-free time together, a not-so-common occurrence that we take full advantage of when we get the chance. We had just returned from getting a pizza and a movie to watch, when I got a phone call from my mom, stating that she thought my dad was having a heart attack and needed me to come over right away. I thought she meant to get the baby, but instead they wanted me to drive him over the five or so blocks to the hospital. Well, when I got there, he didn't seem to be having heart problems-- instead, he was feeling dizzy and weak, and was feeling numbness all down his left side. It was pretty clear that he was probably not having a heart attack at all, but rather a stroke. It was very scary to think about what might be happening, and how this was going to affect my dad-- such a vital, active, healthy man, who dearly prized his independence.

Anyhow... I'll write more on the story later, but that's why the blog has been so empty of late. My dad is doing much better and is in recovery right now at a rehab hospital in town, and the rest of us are doing our best to support him and my mom while they figure out what's happening now. Meanwhile, I still have to write on Ethan's party, the Ugly Christmas Sweater party, and so much more. Until then, happy holidays!

Family Traditions: Weekly and Monthly Rituals

More thoughts inspired by reading The Book of New Family Traditions: How to Create Great Rituals for Holidays & Everydays
I'd like to start some regular family traditions that have nothing to do with holidays or birthdays. I am really drawn to the idea of holding weekly family meetings, where we can go over our upcoming appointments and other calendar issues, talk about problems/challenges and brainstorm solutions, make long-term plans, and celebrate good things that happened that week. It would really go far to helping teach kids about communication, conflict resolution, goal-setting, and besides all that would be a great place to keep connected no matter how busy we get over the years.

I also like the idea of hosting a monthly pot-luck/BBQ/pizza party where we invite a different family each time... eventually, as the kids get older, they could be in charge of the menu, invitations, hosting duties, etc. What a fun way to teach responsibility, and how to deal with entertaining guests, and so much more.

A special father-focused ritual that the author of the book discussed was about dad spending time with one child, alone, at a specific time each month or week. One dad made time each week for "dates with dad" where his son chose the activity (bowling, going to the hobby store, riding bikes together). Another dad had "Full Moon Walks" with each child when they turned 10 years old; he would take them out once a month during the full moon, and they would head out to a more forested area and just walk and talk and hang out at night, just the child and their father. How special is that! Now I just have to convince Joel...