When it rains...

This Monday, I took a qualifying test for the Stanislaus County Office of Education as part of the process of being considered for a program secretary job. It pays just about the same as I'm making at my current job, but there are a few differences-- first, there are no evening meetings. What a blessing that would be! Second, it is in the Human Resources department, which is where I'd eventually like to end up. It could be a stepping stone type of position for me, and once I'm in I'd be able to apply for in-house vacancies that are not open to the general public. Keeping my fingers crossed on that one...

Then, this afternoon I checked the mail and found a letter from the Housing Authority of Stanislaus County, responding to a job I applied for in-- get this-- December 2010. What the?! Apparently, I made it through the first round of eliminations and have been selected to participate in a pre-qualifying test next Tuesday. Talk about waiting a little while to hear back from someone! I don't even have the copy of the original application that I sent it, because I just went through my old "Jobs Applied For" file and tossed everything older than 2011. Well, I guess this means that I've still got a few options on the board. Woo-hoo!

Gentle hands.

This weekend, I had the most amazing experience while putting Ethan to bed. We had finished our usual ritual of bedtime story (current favorite: Little Book of Mother Goose Rhymes), bedtime song (Itsy Bitsy Spider and my original "Ethan's Lullaby"-- which I've been humming or singing to him since he was born), and bedtime hugs and kisses, when the atmosphere suddenly changed... I was leaning over him giving one last kiss goodnight, when he reached up and gently stroked my cheek. Then, he touched his own cheek in the same area, before stretching out his arm again and stroking my other cheek and then his own. He continued to do this sort of mirror-touching until he'd gone over our cheeks, foreheads, lips, and chins, all the while gazing into my eyes.

It was so moving and surreal and introspective; I kept wondering what exactly he was thinking, and what this experience meant for him... after he'd finally had enough, he pulled me down for one last kiss and said "'Night, mommy," before rolling over to face the wall. I left there and couldn't stop thinking about that strange, interesting, genuine experience we'd shared. What a precious gift from my little boy.

Birthday week.

Had a great birthday. Joel upgraded my Kindle e-reader to a Kindle Fire, and I love it. Not necessarily for reading, though; more for the extras, like all of the apps and games and netflix and so on. My new "toy." :)

We celebrated Thanksgiving with Julie's family, at the usual potluck with lots of birthday shots (my new fave liquor: Stoli Chocolate Razberi vodka, yum!) and delicious ham with sweet potatoes... low key, great friends, and not much drama. Just wish Ethan had more buddies around his age.

Speaking of Ethan, we couldn't go anywhere over the long weekend because he was sick, poor thing. Even had to miss his buddy Chase's birthday party at Funworks, boo hiss.

I've got to come to terms with the idea of not having another child... and quick, too, before I "accidentally" take matters into my own hands and end up regretting it.

Sayonara little ones, more later.

Nightmare.

Ethan woke up crying out in terror at 2:40 a.m. I ran into his room and knelt next to his bed, stroking his back and murmuring comforting words while he cried, begging me to get rid of the bugs. I assured him there were no bugs on him, and he said "No, mommy! The bugs are on daddy!" I told him daddy was asleep in bed and he said, again, "NO, mommy! Daddy fell down on the bed and now he's all red and covered with bugs!" That sent a shiver up my spine. What a terrifying image to have in his little head! It took him about 45 minutes to fall asleep again... and most of that time I spent wrapped up in his arms while he tried to calm down. Poor thing. :(

Wow. Long time, No blog.

So much has happened since the last time I was on here!
To sum up:
- My parents have moved-- yet again-- but this time they're in senior housing. Next stop after this: Assisted living, primarily for my mom. Guess this means we're all getting older...

- My little baby boy has graduated into toddlerhood and now has (basically) mastered a major rite of passage: potty-training. Most mornings he wakes up with a nice, dry bed... and most days he has no accidents. Today, he had his biggest accomplishment yet: he went into the bathroom, took down his pants and underwear, climbed onto the potty-seat, and went potty-- pee *and* poop!-- all by himself. That was the first time he has pooped of his own volition in the right place; up til now he was struggling with that one. I'm so very proud of him!

- This weekend, Joel & I go to the City to hang out, visit our favorite spots, check out Hobson's Choice and the vintage stores and then attend Blackout SF to see DJ Drag'nfly (among others) and dance all night. Can't wait. :)

Anyway, I'm sure there's more, but it's these long, drawn-out posts that make me reluctant to keep up with my blog, so I'll stop there. Short, fast, and sweet-- like the apple pie pops I made tonight. Yurm....

Spondylo-what??

My neck pain started up again on Sunday, after my body shifted a little bit while driving over a small bump in the road. The minute my body bent to one side while my neck listed in the opposite direction, I knew it was going to be ugly. I said "Oh no!" and Joel immediately reached over to touch my neck. It was just a twinge at first, but got worse until I could hardly turn my head to the left. I can't bend it at all to the left, but now I can actually turn it fairly well, which makes driving much easier. Still, I have a lot of stiffness, which means reversing out of a parking space is kind of a challenge.

When I told my doctor about it, she recommended coming in for an x-ray. The results showed that I have a mild spondyloarthropathy of the lower cervical spine with muscle spasm. What a mouthful! I'll be doing some more research to find out what exactly this means, but meanwhile I have a physical therapy appointment next Tuesday. And I can't wait!

Disheartened.

I find it so difficult to deal with my husband's intimacy and other relationship issues. I'm not sure whether they stem from his childhood experiences with a father who abandoned his large family, or if it's just a special sort of self-centeredness and selfishness innate to the male gender, but JEEZ LOUISE it's frustrating as hell. I know that I've met other men who are very "into" their families or spouses or kids-- guys who are enthralled by their wives, who look forward to time alone with their child, who actually enjoy being in a family... and I wish that my husband was more like that. Why is it so hard for him to see me & Ethan as just as important as himself?

Take tonight, for instance... he comes home half an hour early from class. Does he think, "Oh, great! I get to see my son before he goes to sleep for once this week!" or even, "Well, Melanie takes care of Ethan every single day after work while I'm in school until after bedtime, so maybe tonight I could step in and take care of tooth-brushing or story time and put my son to bed..." Of course not. He actually told me tonight "I'm still on school time! This is my time to study." HELLO! As if I'm not in school full-time, too? As if I'm not working full-time, and also taking care of Ethan too??

Whatever. I'm just so bugged by the whole thing I can't talk about it.

Fall Camping-- review

We had a great time camping with Ethan and his aunt Stefanie this September, but I believe much of it was due to the fact that Joel's brother let us borrow his camper-van. I mean, it didn't have a functioning heater, A/C, fridge, stove, or bathroom, but it DID have a way to sleep inside away from the bugs, rocks, noise, and cold of outside. Ethan definitely loved it, especially the fact that it had a DVD player and he was able to kick back inside in his carseat and watch "How to Train Your Dragon" for the thousandth time. What an easy-to-please boy!



I don't consider myself a pampered princess by any stretch of the imagination, but I do find myself becoming more and more reluctant to suffer unnecessarily. I'm happy to rough it, but even happier if I can actually sleep without pain... in this case, from the very uncomfortable sleeping area in the camper-van. I thought it would be more like our old RV, which we slept in wonderfully last year at Burning Man. Instead, I could hardly sleep at all because of the pain in my right hip from pressing into the hard platform all night. Add to that the fact that Ethan was sleeping between Joel and me and kept turning his body perpendicular to us, so that his head was resting on Joel's arm and his feet were kicking into my chest or stomach all night. Man, that kid is an active sleeper! I woke up in the morning and could hardly walk. It was pretty painful; thank goodness we remembered to bring ibuprofen, because a couple of hours later I was well enough to go back out for another hike/walk with everyone.

All in all, it was a great weekend, and I'm glad we were able to go. It was worth missing out on homework time to get in some great family time. :)

Hair Chop

I love my little man... especially with his new haircut. It was getting so long recently that he was complaining about his hair hurting his eyes. Now, I know Joel wanted him to grow it out just like his daddy did when he was a little boy, but come on-- if it's interfering with your vision, it's way too long.

So the other day, when I was cutting Joel's hair, Ethan got all excited about getting his own haircut and I took advantage of the opportunity to shear his locks. Sure, it's choppy in some areas-- but he's still gorgeous!

This is one of the best things about motherhood-- being able to experience this pure, joyous, whole-hearted love and share it openly with your child. I feel so blessed.

Camping Trip!

We borrowed a camper-van from Joel's brother and plan to head up towards Pinecrest-Strawberry on Saturday morning for some camping adventures with Ethan and Stefanie. I've packed everything (I think) except Joel's stuff and the refrigerated food, so we're pretty much ready to go as soon as Joel has his stuff ready.

I can't wait! I love camping, but can't stand freezing to death or sleeping on top of rocks/bugs, so the camper-van seems perfect. Especially when we're bringing Ethan with us... just can't imagine tent-camping with an almost-three-year-old.

The camper-van also seems to be ideal for Burning Man trips... which puts all sorts of little thoughts in my head for next year. :)

"Lovey" Pants

For the first two years of his life, Ethan had a crocheted baby blue blanket (made for him by our friend Vy Kamrar) that he carried around, pulled apart, and loved nearly to pieces. Just before his second birthday, it "disappeared" into a memory box I'm keeping for him. Since then, he hasn't really found a replacement lovey... until now.

Now, his security item (seen clutched to his chest in this photo) is a pair of tan pajama pants patterned with images of construction vehicles like tow trucks, cement trucks, and caterpillars. He loves those things. He carries them everywhere. And I mean, everywhere. We took him to Ikea once and almost left them behind on a kitchen display-- I thought I was going to have a heart attack, running around from showroom to showroom trying to find them.

He sleeps with them bunched up next to him on the bed, too, and sometimes even gets to wear them to sleep in when it's not too hot at night. I'm trying to find a pair that will fit him when it gets colder... any suggestions would be most appreciated!

School Blues

I am feeling so overwhelmed and tired from all of this schoolwork. My current class, Business Law, is intensive and requires about twice or even three times as much effort and participation as my previous courses. This week, for instance, our reading assignment is for 8 chapters-- EIGHT-- which are supposed to be read, understood, and processed before you can even turn in the first assignment on Day 3 of the week. Then there are the two case study discussion posts, citing case law and precedents, then responding to at least two (the minimum required to get a C grade) but preferably more other students' discussion posts... that's per Case Study. So I post two essays, then respond to 2-4 other essays, initiating a discussion in which I'm expected to respond to their responses (and the instructor's) as well.

And that's not even getting started on the weekly paper. Or the term paper. Or the fact that this goes on every week for six weeks until the next class begins. There are no breaks until school ends next August with my graduation. Ugh! Too bad I'm not rich enough to stay home and do this instead of working 8 hrs a day, then coming home to be mom (and dad, because Joel's in school every weeknight until after Ethan's in bed) to a 2 1/2 year old every night. I get to work on schoolwork either during break time or lunch at work, or after Ethan goes to sleep. It's a struggle, but I have to keep reminding myself of why I'm doing it... this is so that we can get on the path to where we want to be with our careers, our family, our home, and our future. Just have to keep that thought up front and center to stay motivated!

Barbecue Time

I threw together some veggies (bell pepper, mushrooms, red onion) and some chicken and pineapple meatballs and used our fish-rack to grill them up...



Ah, sweet, delicious perfection! Between the two of us we ate almost everything. Time for Round 2 yet?

Pool Boy

It seems that August fairly passed me by with so few posts that you hardly know what happened! Well, for starters, Ethan (re)discovered that he loves his pool.

We got it at Target on sale for only $15... and what a great "toy"! It has a slide, two pools, and can be hooked up to a hose so that water gently (or not so gently) sprays out of the tops of the two palm trees. He adores it. Not so much getting tons of water in his face, but maybe that'll just take getting used to.


For now, he's happy as a clam whenever he's in the water.

In fact, he's started practicing laying back in his bathtub when the water is only a few inches deep... he'll say "Lay down, mom?" and then slowly lower himself backwards into the water, giggling and gasping the whole time, until he's flat on his back. About two seconds later, he's squirming to get up.

I can't WAIT to take him in for swim lessons next year! :)

Hide Out

Ethan's favorite hiding place is in the triangle formed where the smaller couch angles out from the gate around my computer area to the brick fireplace. He goes back there when he wants privacy for things like, oh, I don't know, trying to open a medicine bottle he somehow filched from the counter, or opening up colored markers he just found, or perhaps even attempting to avoid going to the bathroom for potty-time by taking care of it solo...

Sometimes I'll notice him running back there and that's my cue to take him back for potty-training time, and other times I'll know it's time to check for stray silverware, permanent markers, or other contraband items. He gets suspiciously quiet every time he's hiding, too, which is a big red flag in itself. Still... if he just has to have a hidey-spot, I'm glad it's out in the main room and that he's usually a good sport about getting found back there. Now, if only I had my own hide-out...

Potty successes!

Ethan is finally starting to get the hang of this potty training thing... Tonight, for instance, he was in the bath and started passing gas, then looked up at me with this sort of pensive, thoughtful expression, as if waiting for something. I asked him, "Do you have to go poo-poo?" He replied, "Umm..." So I told him, "Why don't you try to go on the potty?" and lifted him up onto the seat. About 30 seconds later, he said "Mom, I did it." And he was right! I praised him to the skies, and he even got on the phone to tell Daddy what he'd just accomplished. He was so excited! He even got to wipe, and flush, and wash his hands just like a big boy. His big reward? Going through the car wash with Daddy tomorrow.

Later, he spoke on the phone with his aunt Fie (Stefanie) and told her the story as well. Then, after putting him to bed, he called me in three more times to help him get up and go potty on the toilet. He's so excited about it now, and I'm so proud of his efforts. Next step is that we'll have to make the bathroom more accessible so that he can get in there and do his thing whenever he needs to, with or without mommy being right there. I can't believe he's growing up so fast!

Accounting Attack

I have finally reached the limits of my understanding. This Accounting class has taught me that I'm not as smart as I think I am. I just can't seem to wrap my head around the numbers, the formulas, the ratios and calculations and percentages that seem to be hiding on every next page, multiplying in the dark recesses of the book and laughing at my inept attempts at comprehension. This reminds me of when I was taking chemistry, organic chemistry, cellular molecular biology, and other horribly difficult classes at CSU Stanislaus back in the late 1990s. I thought I wanted to be a botanist, because I'd had one great class with an excellent instructor who really encouraged me to live up to my potential... without knowing, of course, that most of my success in that class was due to the fact that so much of it was writing and drawing rather than math-related. Once math came in to the picture, as it tends to do when you're studying science, my goose was cooked.

So here we are, the succulent aroma of cooked goose once again wafting through the room, and all because of accounting. Who knew I'd get the same whipping by a math-based class twice in one lifetime? You'd think I'd have learned my lesson the first time!

Yet the show must go on. Time to carve up that goose and make a meal of it, then get back in the trenches and do my best to hammer this stuff into my brain cells. Eventually, I'll get it, right?

Right?

Snap to it

Ethan loves baked snap peas. He loves them with a passion usually reserved for M&Ms or soda, and he likes to share them with his toy trucks whenever possible. (The trucks don't seem to like the snap peas as much, for some reason.) They're one of the only vegetables he eats, at this point, so I'm happy to have at least one green thing going down his gullet. And they actually taste good, too! They even have "Caesar" flavored ones, which are quite tasty either straight out of the bag (his preference) or on salads. So I say munch on, little one! These critters'll do until you broaden your palate a bit.

Potty Training and Smiles

Started potty training in earnest today... and he's gone potty in the potty chair once already, and another time ran over to me saying "I'm wet, mom!" while wearing his Potty-Scotty underpants. I have a feeling success will be counted in these small victories for quite some time. Then again, it seems like a great day every time I see that smile, so who really cares about another clean-up on aisle 5? :)

Before and After Allergies

Ethan hasn't had any major allergy issues lately, but then we've had him on chidren's Zyrtec every day since the last episode. Just as a comparison, this is what he normally looks like.


And this is what happened within half an hour of getting that scratch on his arm outside in the back yard a month ago or so... here' s the scratch:


This photo didn't come out very well because the lighting was poor and we were stressing to get ready for the urgent care, but we started getting worried when we saw that his eyes were getting so swollen that he was straining to keep them open... and this is what started happening to his face:


What you can't see is that the whites of his eyes were bulging out enough to actually prevent him from closing his eyelids all the way. It was pretty scary... just hope we don't have to go through that whole thing again. Since that day he's had three or four minor incidents, but we gave him benadryl and eye drops and it went away within 30-40 minutes. Still don't know what he's allergic to because I can't seem to get an appointment with the allergist my doctor referred me to, despite multiple phone calls and messages. Today I'm going to dedicate myself to calling until I get through to someone; they're going to give me an appointment by 5:00 p.m. today, or I'm driving up there in person!

Sorry, crazy mom attack just now. ;)