School Blues

I am feeling so overwhelmed and tired from all of this schoolwork. My current class, Business Law, is intensive and requires about twice or even three times as much effort and participation as my previous courses. This week, for instance, our reading assignment is for 8 chapters-- EIGHT-- which are supposed to be read, understood, and processed before you can even turn in the first assignment on Day 3 of the week. Then there are the two case study discussion posts, citing case law and precedents, then responding to at least two (the minimum required to get a C grade) but preferably more other students' discussion posts... that's per Case Study. So I post two essays, then respond to 2-4 other essays, initiating a discussion in which I'm expected to respond to their responses (and the instructor's) as well.

And that's not even getting started on the weekly paper. Or the term paper. Or the fact that this goes on every week for six weeks until the next class begins. There are no breaks until school ends next August with my graduation. Ugh! Too bad I'm not rich enough to stay home and do this instead of working 8 hrs a day, then coming home to be mom (and dad, because Joel's in school every weeknight until after Ethan's in bed) to a 2 1/2 year old every night. I get to work on schoolwork either during break time or lunch at work, or after Ethan goes to sleep. It's a struggle, but I have to keep reminding myself of why I'm doing it... this is so that we can get on the path to where we want to be with our careers, our family, our home, and our future. Just have to keep that thought up front and center to stay motivated!

Accounting Attack

I have finally reached the limits of my understanding. This Accounting class has taught me that I'm not as smart as I think I am. I just can't seem to wrap my head around the numbers, the formulas, the ratios and calculations and percentages that seem to be hiding on every next page, multiplying in the dark recesses of the book and laughing at my inept attempts at comprehension. This reminds me of when I was taking chemistry, organic chemistry, cellular molecular biology, and other horribly difficult classes at CSU Stanislaus back in the late 1990s. I thought I wanted to be a botanist, because I'd had one great class with an excellent instructor who really encouraged me to live up to my potential... without knowing, of course, that most of my success in that class was due to the fact that so much of it was writing and drawing rather than math-related. Once math came in to the picture, as it tends to do when you're studying science, my goose was cooked.

So here we are, the succulent aroma of cooked goose once again wafting through the room, and all because of accounting. Who knew I'd get the same whipping by a math-based class twice in one lifetime? You'd think I'd have learned my lesson the first time!

Yet the show must go on. Time to carve up that goose and make a meal of it, then get back in the trenches and do my best to hammer this stuff into my brain cells. Eventually, I'll get it, right?

Right?

Motivation

Writing a paper about motivation problems at work has really made me see my workplace in a whole new light. I'm starting to realize what a beneficial experience this will be for me. Yes, this job may be temporary in that I don't plan on making a career of being an administrative assistant for $14/hour. But it is teaching me so much about what it's really like to work as a secretary, and what it's like to deal with situations in the for-profit world as opposed to schools or non-profits. I'm going to be able to use a lot of experiences as real-world case studies for school, too, which is going to be so helpful for my MBA program. And, last but not least, I'm learning more about what works and what doesn't in terms of working with a smaller company as opposed to the very large organizations I worked in before this. And that's not even getting into the fact that I'm getting a paycheck that helps support my family at the same time! :) All in all, I'd say I'm feeling pretty motivated right now. And proud of it!

No Time...

I feel like I have signed my life away to this MBA program. And not just me, but Joel, too. We are both going to school full-time and working now (thankfully), which means that we see very little of Ethan and even less of each other, not to mention hardly ever catching a glimpse of our friends and family. It's a little bit tougher than I thought it would be, this virtual isolation from our circle of loved ones, and this is only just the beginning of a long, long eighteen-month program. All I keep telling myself is that it'll be worth it in the end, it'll be worth the short-term sacrifice for the end goal... but that seems to be the common refrain of life. When does that fabled end goal arrive, anyway? I think perhaps it's time to start seeing that the process itself needs to be more enjoyable than miserable, or else reaching the legendary end goal becomes too great a burden to bear. We've got to build in some alone time for us as a husband & wife, some family time with our little guy, some get-away-from-it-all time, time with our couple friends and time for a girls/guys' night out, time with our relatives, and-- just as importantly as all the rest-- time to have some peaceful, solitary, all-by-myself solitude to recharge the batteries.

So I'll go ahead and put that plan into action, as soon as I can find some time.

Grad School

Last week was my first week back in school as a grad student, and let me tell ya-- being out of school for the past decade has not necessarily improved my study skills, my vocabulary, or my ability to think critically. I am so nervous about this program, partly because it is a business degree and therefore nothing I have really studied before, and partly because this time around I'm doing it without the kind of free time I had before. The last time I was in school I was single and lived alone, and could arrange my schedule however I wanted to in order to get my homework, papers, reading, and prep work done. This time? Yeah, not quite. Instead, I have a husband and a toddler, am a stay-at-home mom (until I start full-time work within the next month), and have a full-time job hunt going on right now. Needless to say, my study time is somewhat limited at this point.

It has been tough enough to get my work done in the hours that Ethan sleeps this past week, and I can't imagine it will get any easier when I start working again. Not only will I lose his nap-time (about 2 hours) for school work, but I'll also lose all that time I normally get to spend doing things around the house like laundry, cooking, cleaning, and so on. How the heck do people do this?!? I am going to be either a master time-management expert or completely insane by the end of this program. Still, I'm not changing my plans or quitting. This is my goal: MBA with Human Resources specialization by September 2012. No matter what, I'm going for it. Watch out, world!

Vision Statement

My first major assignment for my Management Communication class is to develop a personal vision statement. Sounds easy, right? Yeah right. We were directed to several resources online, but I found another one that I really enjoyed using on the Franklin Covey website.



It has about ten or so pages of prompts that help you to start breaking down your personal goals, internal and external characteristics, strengths and weaknesses, dreams and goals, so that by the end you have put together a fairly comprehensive vision statement. I really liked it, and only wished that it were easier to go back and edit one section or another before printing or emailing yourself the final version. I'm definitely going to be using it for my assignment, which I plan on writing tomorrow sometime (it's due Sunday). After this week, though, my plan is to start doing all of my assignments ahead of time as often as possible, so that I can keep the stress level down and keep one step ahead. That way, if something comes up last minute and I'm strapped for time, I don't have to worry about missing an assignment because it'll already be done. That's the plan, anyway; we'll see how it pans out.

School + Job Updates

I posted my first assignment in my online MBA class today. What a great moment of excitement, anticipation, and nervousness all rolled into one overwhelming feeling... I think it is going to be really wonderful for me to get back into education for awhile. I need this sort of mental stimulation and the reminder that I am more than just a one-dimensional character at this point in my life. It'll be tough to go to do a Master's degree while still being the primary one responsible for the house, the child, and then also work full-time, but there really isn't another option right now-- so it's full steam ahead, no holds barred, put the pedal to the metal time!

PS, I also got called to come in for an interview tomorrow for a position with Heald College here in Modesto. My friend T. said earlier that, because I just started classes, *now* I'll get a job-- now that I'll have way less time and energy, because that's just how the universe works. We both laughed about it, but then a couple of hours later I got the call from Heald about the interview. Hopefully T. was right! :)

Processing....

Going through the final steps before classes begin on the 22nd... starting to get a little nervous, a little excited, a little curious about what it will be like to go back to grad school after such a long break and this time, with a two-year-old on my lap. Still haven't had any positive responses from the job applications, but I'm trying to stay positive and hope for the best. My unemployment extension runs out at the end of April; that gives me a few weeks left to get things sorted out, right?

Frostburg

So, I did some more research and decided that Kaplan might not be the best choice. There are a lot of complaints about that university, and besides that it is really expensive-- up to $32,000 if I chose the MBA with specialization option. After checking out tons of websites, I found a very helpful site called Get Educated. It ranks, rates, and compares online schools and degrees, and has separate listings like "Best Buys" and "Best Public Perception" to help narrow your choices. I looked at quite a few different online colleges on the "Best Buys" list, and after a lot of deliberation I decided to apply to Frostburg State University.

FSU is an actual college located in Frostburg, Maryland, that has expanded its MBA degree to include an online program, and it appears to run only about $14-15,000. That is about half of what I was going to pay at Kaplan! Not only that, but Frostburg seems to be a bit more choosy about who gets into their program; applicants have to have a certain GPA, have to have taken the GMAT, and/or can only be allowed in provisionally depending on certain factors (GRE scores, work history, recommendations, etc.). I like the idea that FSU is both more selective and more affordable than Kaplan, and I also like that it is primarily an actual campus rather than purely located online. I've already ordered my transcripts, completed my application, and filled out my FAFSA for 2010-11 and 2011-12. Now all we have to do is wait and see if I get in, and when I can get started. I can't wait!