My Skandi-boy

Just remembering when Ethan was this small, such a short time ago; how quickly it flits and flies. Doesn't he look vaguely Scandinavian, like some tiny Northerner about to burst into speech that is chock-full of consonants and a sprinkling of vowels with lines through them? Those eyes, that hat... he used to love his Pooh bear hat, and wore it all the time. He wore it until it didn't fit his noggin anymore, in fact. Now he won't let a hat sit on his head for longer than five seconds before yanking it off and tossing it to the ground. What's up with that? How can things change so drastically in such a short time? I love hats, just wish I could wear them more often. Burning Man 2009 was probably the first time in my life I wore hats on pretty much a daily basis, and it was pretty cool.

Joel and I found these cowboy-type hats at Target for a great price, and they were perfect for keeping the sun off our necks-- and you could wrap a scarf around them and then over your face to keep from breathing in the sand, too. Very handy!

The Positive, The Negative, The In-Between

The thought of finally going back to work is laden with both the positive and the negative...

The UP Side:
- Steady income that won't run out, whereas unemployment checks will eventually stop
- Health insurance!
- Making new connections to other adults in the workplace
- Feeling like I'm contributing to the community again through my work
- Ethan will get to socialize with more kids once he gets into daycare
- Possibly moving towards the Bay Area, which means:
> more job opportunities for Joel
> closer to SF for day trips and such
> better bike paths and walking paths
> nicer weather than Modesto (i.e., cooler)
- Moving closer to certain friends and family

The Down Side:
- No longer being able to spend every day with my son... this is HUGE for me
- Moving away from my mom & dad and sisters, as well as other family and some close friends (and my BFF!)
- Moving, in general-- YUCK! The packing, the hassle, the headache, the cost
- Commuting at first to Oakland, which is 1.5 hrs away without traffic and up to 2.5 during rush hours.. U.G.H.
- Having to find all new friends and babysitters and so on wherever we move
- More expensive rent (up to $500/month higher than we're paying now)

Anyway... I'm trying to stay positive and think of the good side, but those first two issues (missing Ethan and leaving my family/friends) are pretty tough ones. Will try to keep my thoughts focused on my goals: Surviving and thriving for and with my family. We can do it.

Hubba Honda

Joel really likes his Honda. And by "really likes," I mean loves. And by "loves," I mean he thinks it's great and all but can't wait to get a slighter bigger one someday. Ah, the fickle nature of man.


He just changed the handlebars to lower them and make them more like a cafe racer. And the lights, and a few other things... all I know is, it looks great. And Ethan thinks it's awesome, too. He absolutely loves getting up there and playing around with the various buttons and knobs and controls on the motorcycle. And he can spend forever just tinkering around the bike, touching the shiny chrome and finding out where all the dirtiest parts are. Never a dull moment, as long as there are gears and metal pieces and tools and mechanical bits to play with. Like father, like son!

Mission: Get A Job-- COMPLETE!

So, on Wednesday the 7th I went up to Oakland for my second interview. I thought it went well, until the very end when the head of the interview panel told me some interesting news. It seems that they were just finishing up with the 2nd interviews, and were going to start another round of first interviews the following week. What?! To me, that meant that they hadn't found the person they were looking for yet. Otherwise, why bother with yet another round of first interviews, possibly continuing on into second interviews? I left there thinking that I was just going to have to continue my search for employment elsewhere...

When I got home on Wednesday, I found out that Joel had been chosen to participate on a jury for the next couple of weeks, which would mean we'd need to find daycare if I actually was offered the job and they expected me to start before the 23rd of April. Oh, well, we'll worry about that when it happens, right? So I get a phone call from the lead Family Advocate, asking me to call her back and answer a few questions "before we can proceed." Hmm... now things are definitely looking up again. I thought she might have some concerns about whether or not we'd move up there or something like that, so I contacted her and left my info again so that we could chat. Well, she finally gets back to me Thursday afternoon and this is what happened:

Her: "Melanie, I have a few questions that the interview panel would like to ask before we go forward; I know that you've spent the past several years as a supervisor, and I'm wondering how you would feel about working in a position where you wouldn't be supervising anyone? Would that be a problem for you?"

Me: "Absolutely not. Honestly, supervising others was not my favorite part of the job; it was working with a great team of colleagues and collaborating to reach our goals. I enjoyed supervising, but I also really enjoy working as a team member, and have always worked well with my own supervisors. I would have no problem whatsoever with being in a position that's not supervisory."

Her: "I didn't think that would be a problem. So, I have one more question: Are you still interested in the job? Because I'd like to offer you the position."

YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

King of Malls

We took a family trip to the Westfield Valley Mall in San Jose last weekend. What a cool place! Huge, and maze-like, but with so much variety that it makes up for constantly being lost and having to use GPS and spidey sense to find your way around. Here's an aerial view:


Pretty neat. I'd love to go back sans-bebe so that we can look around more and do some actual shopping. We had a very tasty lunch there, too. We had fish 'n chips, clam chowder, and shrimp cocktail from Ivar's. It's fast food, but quite yummy. Ethan loved to eat the little shrimp, and (of course) noshed on the fries with gusto.


My craving for seafood lately has been out of control; later this week I'll be making shrimp with red pepper and angel hair pasta, a recipe I stole off of Gordon Ramsay's new cooking show. I only wish he'd include ingredient measurements; it helps, when cooking.

Wisteria...

Last year, we had a crazy-bad windstorm that resulted in several large branches littering our yard. Rather than chop them up and toss them in our green waste for the following two months (there were that many branches), Joel decided to reduce, re-use, and recycle them-- as yard decor! He used two large ones to sort of cordon off the cactus garden, which was useful when the baby was smaller; not so much now that he has decided he has climbing-monkey skills. He then used several of the medium-sized branches to build a sort of rustic trellis above the calla lilies and across the wisteria, with an arch leading to the side of the house. The wisteria vines climbed all over the branches, and when the begin blooming every spring (usually in mid-March), they form this beautiful canopy of purple blossoms outside my window. Every time I look outside, I feel a smile creep across my face... how uplifting to the spirits these simple flowers are! This insect appears to share my opinion.



(Doesn't Joel take gorgeous photos?)

Interview: Out of My Closet, Part 2

I have been called back for a second interview at the Alameda job! Keeping my fingers crossed and hoping I can do well at this one. The day after I interviewed last week, the director called me and said that they were all very impressed during my interview and wanted to know if I could come back up for a second interview. Of course, I said that would be great, and so we set the date for Wednesday, April 7th. When I got a chance, I told her that I was glad she had called because I wanted to thank her and the rest of the team for such a great experience during my interview; I told her it had been very positive and warm, and that I appreciated the opportunity to meet with so many members of the team that day. She said, "Well, the feeling is mutual. After your interview, the panel was unanimous in saying 'Bring her back!'". How cool is that? It's so nice to get positive strokes every so often.

Anyway, here is what is coming out of my closet for Wednesday's interview. Most of my work-related clothing comes straight from the Kohl's juniors section. Yes, I still shop there, apparently breaking a cardinal rule of the "over-30" set.

The top is a Candies shirt, in pink. As you can see, I just want to keep the color coming; I find gray and black so depressing, and can't see myself dressing for gloomy news. I'll dress for a celebration, instead!:


The pants, also from Kohl's:


And the shoes, which I love dearly but can't remember where I got them:


In another sign of favor from the heavens, the rain will miraculously clear up by Wednesday, unlike last time-- when it started just before I walked out of my car and across the huge parking lot to the building. Luckily, Joel insists that I carry an umbrella in my car, so it turns out I didn't make the kind of first impression that gets sent in to America's Funniest Videos.

PS-- The Interview is TODAY, at 1:00 p.m. CROSS YOUR FINGERS!! (Say a prayer, light a candle, meditate, whatever; just send out your positive vibes!)

Hair-Razing Experience

So, I tried to cut Ethan's hair the other day, and learned a valuable lesson: It's almost impossible to cut a toddler's hair without completely butchering it, UNLESS (and this is a big point) one of the following conditions is met:

1) You are a trained professional, i.e., beautician with monkey-wrangling experience,
OR
2) Your child is somehow in such a deep sleep that a buzzing set of hair clippers near their face won't wake them up, AND they are sleeping in a position that somehow exposes their entire head of hair and yet keeps them gently supported at the same time.

Unfortunately, as you might have guessed, neither of these pre-requisites was fulfilled when I began my work. With all of the turning, yanking, running, shoving, and other calisthenics going on, he's lucky he didn't end up with a bald spot over each ear or an off-sided mohawk. Instead, he got what we were calling "The Lloyd," as in the character from Dumb and Dumber with the bowl-cut:


Luckily, he only had to go through one day with that beautiful piece of work. Earlier today, we "fixed" it as much as we could, and came up with this:


By the way, in the above picture he is sitting in his favorite place: the portable highchair seat, which we attached to this carved wooden chair that we happened to pick up for $2.50 at a neighbor's yard sale. What a deal! Especially because he LOVES that chair, and will just go and sit in in throughout the day whether or not he's eating. Just hanging out, chillin' in his seat... it seems pretty comfy, probably because Joel moved the seat cushion onto the back of the chair, so now Ethan has a nice cushy head rest. I'm kind of jealous!

My Beautiful Family

We were lucky enough to spend time with some dear friends of ours early in March at a combined birthday party for J, C, and B. At the party, they were so kind as to provide the services of a photographer to take some portrait shots and spontaneous pics throughout the day. We got these lovely pictures to commemorate the event; what a great gift!

All wrapped up in each other...


Catching a free ride with Daddy...


And finally, Ethan reaches his limit with the posing and such. He wants to go play, and tells me so fairly clearly: "Down!"


Thanks, Mom!


Ain't love grand?

Interview: Out of My Closet

I had an awesome time at my interview on Monday. I truly enjoyed meeting and getting to know the team, and felt comfortable, confident, and welcomed the entire time. Preparing for it was actually the hardest part, not the least of which was deciding what to wear. I ended up choosing this outfit, which was semi-conservative and professional, but still youthful and unique, or at least not the usual dour gray and black combo that seems to be the norm.

The outfit:
I went to Kohl's and got the bulk of my outfit. The shirt (below) was in aqua, not white; I wanted to have a little bit of color in my wardrobe.
in this:

The skirt I absolutely adore, but I do have a slight problem: Somehow, when I tried it on at home, it was suddenly a size too big! What the heck? Guess I'll have to get it tailored somewhere.


The shoes were basically like these, only matte instead of shiny patent. At least they were comfy!

When Good Interviews Go Bad

In honor of April Fool's Day, and to commemorate the fact that I made it through an awesome interview on the 29th, here is a worst case scenario that one should try to avoid when interviewing for a job:



And definitely, whatever you do, don't ever say anything even remotely close to this:


In fact, if you feel like you *might* say something like that, do everyone a favor and call the authorities immediately. Thanks for playing, and Happy April Fool's Day!

Selling Out... Furniture, that is!

Not my soul, of course, don't worry. I'm actually beginning the process of selling certain furniture items, like our bedroom set, and our miscellaneous unnecessary items, like half the stuff in our storage areas. Partially because I love to get rid of things we're not really using, partly because I no longer want those items (goodbye, big bed, and hello, platform!), partly for the money, and partly because if we end up getting a job out of this area, we are going to have to move... without a lot of our stuff. Especially if this current job opportunity works out, but really if *anything* comes through outside of Modesto, we will most likely end up moving into a smaller place than where we are currently living. It would be difficult to sell everything, pack, find a new place, and move all in the two weeks or so we'd have between a job offer and beginning work, so I'd rather do it in stages. Do you see how I'm confidently assuming we'll get an offer sometime soon? Just blame it on The Secret.

Anyway, we're selling our bedroom set. I do love it, but it has outlived its usefulness, and besides-- I want a platform bed, eventually. In the meantime, we'd probably just use our futon, which is currently in Joel's office. I'm actually looking forward to getting this big furniture out of our room! We'll figure out what to do with all the stuff in the drawers later.



I put up the entire set-- headboard, footboard, two nightstands, bureau + mirror, on Modesto's Craigslist for $500. That's not asking a lot, compared to so many others out there, and I think it's a great deal. Just check out the gorgeous Harlequin "diamond" details, and the curving, bowed out areas.



I've loved it since 2004, but now it's time to re-home this furniture. Goodbye, bedroom set, you served me well!

Bjork Yourself Today

And now, a tribute to Bjork, for no real reason other than I like to take some time every so often to celebrate weirdness, humor, creativity, and quirkiness. Enjoy!

The famous swan dress from the Oscars, and winner of many "Worst Dressed" awards:


One of her most awesome songs, and one that catapulted her into the mainstream's awareness:


Just for funsies, an imagined conversation between P.Diddy and Bjork:


And, to leave you on a more serious note, Ethan Hein does an excellent job discussing Bjork's otherwordly style and her impact on the music scene in his "Cold Technology, Hot Beats" blog post Björk thought she could organize freedom, how Scandinavian of her.

Food: Taco Salad

This salad is a combination of a couple of recipes, one I "borrowed" from a close friend (T, you know who you are!) and one I "adapted" from an issue of Taste of Home magazine (Simple & Delicious). Combined and modified just a bit, the two make for an awesome taco salad that is filling and scrumptious. You can spice it up more by using hotter chips or tossing in diced jalapenos, but we usually just serve El Mexicano jalapenos (with the seeds and membranes removed, of course) on the side for those who want more heat in their meal. We also tend to serve with pan-warmed tortillas that you roll up and eat on the side. Anyway, without further ado, here it is!


Taco Salad

1 lb. taco-seasoned ground beef
1 cup canned black beans, rinsed and drained
1 cup canned kidney beans, rinsed and drained
1 cup canned pinquitos (pink beans), rinsed and drained

1 can (11 oz.) Mexicorn (corn with bell peppers) or corn relish

1/2 cup chopped sweet bell pepper (red or orange)
1 bunch green onions, chopped (about 1 cup)
1/2 cup cilantro, chopped
1/2 cup salsa or 1/2 cup chopped tomatoes
2 cups Spicy Nacho Doritos, crushed
1/2 cup cup French Dressing


1) In a pan over medium heat, cook seasoned ground beef until done. Set aside until cool.
2) In a large bowl, mix cooled ground beef, beans, corn, bell pepper, green onions, cilantro, and salsa. NOTE: At this point, you can cover and refrigerate until serving time.
3) Just before serving, add crushed chips and 1/4 cup of the French Dressing, and mix until well-blended.
4) Add remaining dressing slowly, only until mixture is coated but not overly wet. Serve with additional chips on the side to use as scoops. You could also add sliced olives at this point if you wish.

TIP: If you have any of the mixture from Step 2 (before adding chips and dressing) leftover, you can save/freeze it and use it for making chili at a later date. And don't forget to add the best, crunchiest, most flavorful canned jalapenos around!

From One Mother to Another

I met a lovely woman today while shopping for some new shirts at Ross. She took one look at Ethan and started cooing, literally, in the middle of the aisle. I never know what to say in those situations; do I say "Thank you", as if I had anything to do with how cute he is? She even said "Your mama did a great job with you, little one." Does she mean that because he is smiling and relatively clean? I mean, it's true enough that we read far too many stories about terrible parents and probably know some ourselves, but still; is it right for me to take credit for how awesome Ethan is? We were surely blessed with this baby, and there are often doubts in my mind that we are worthy of such a magnificent reward in our lives. But there you have it: People absolutely adore this child. I smile all day long when I take him out with me, because people fall over themselves to come up and say "Hi" or just go ga-ga for awhile. It reminds me of how people fell in love with Leila when she was young, or even now, for that matter. There is just no way to resist the beauty and perfection of childhood and innocence and open smiles, so why try?

Anyway: My point was what this woman from Ross told me today. She said, "Enjoy your time with him, even when he's fussy or acting up, because it goes by so fast. My son is 23, and I remember him exactly this way, a small boy who can't even speak yet. It happens before you know it, and you will always see a baby next to your son, no matter how old he gets." Was she trying to make me burst into tears in the store, or what? Sheesh! I am a bit emotional this week; apparently, "things" are in motion in my life and I'm a bit sensitive lately. For instance, I cried earlier while watching The Wonder Pets with Ethan. Um, it's a kids' show. About baby pets who save other baby pets. Isn't crying a bit much of a response? But I can't help myself. When the hormones start kicking in, the very thin barrier I have erected between myself and my sometimes volatile emotions slowly dissolves, until I'm completely incapable of restraining my reactions. That was a warning of sorts: Stand back, people! I'm on the loose!

Recovery from Mental Illness

The thought is actually quite foreign to many of us-- or, dare I say, most of us in the general public. We believe that a diagnosis of mental illness is permanent, impossible to overcome, and a deeply embedded part of a person's character. What we don't seem to recognize is the similarities between mental illness and, for instance, homelessness or poverty. Not in terms of how they are often present simultaneously in a person's life, but in terms of how any of us could find ourselves there at some time in our lives, as long as a particular set of conditions are present (or absent). For example, if you don't have sufficient supports or resources in place, an emotionally upsetting incident of enough intensity could send you into a diagnosis of "mentally ill." Similarly, if you don't have enough financial resources in place (savings) or other options (family to live with, other job offers, etc.), losing your job or having a significant monetary "incident" such as a huge medical bill could send you towards homelessness or poverty. In this way, both of these situations could be temporary, depending on the type of care you get and how you are able to access resources and support while you recover from the devastating original incident.

Psychiatrist Daniel Fisher describes this in more detail in his article, posted on several websites including that of the National Empowerment Center (among others). He also gives a great interview on YouTube where he describes his theories and research a bit more fully.



The most interesting part of all of this work is that Dr. Fisher is himself a person who was diagnosed with-- and recovered from-- mental illness. He was a neurochemical researcher when he was diagnosed with schizophrenia in the 1970s, and was hospitalized several times. During his recovery, he obtained an M.D., a Ph.D., and also married and fathered two daughters. According to the National Association for Rights Protection and Advocacy, he is one of the only psychiatrists in the country to openly discuss his recovery from mental illness. I can't wait to read more of his work, and look into this further. What amazing implications it has, for so many!

Papa Love

I'm so proud of Joel, and how he is turning out to be such a great father.


He is so good with Ethan. He is affectionate, loving, and tender, but also has fun and plays games and runs around the house with him. He gets up in the middle of the night to change diapers even when he's to-the-bone tired, and cleaned bottles like a pro (when we were still using them). He is a good man, I believe, and an awesome dad. I can't wait for Ethan to know him better.

At the Park

He loves to play at parks, but the one closest to us doesn't seem to have much for younger kids. He still makes it work and has fun, somehow, but the main "toddler"-friendly item-- the swings-- are not his cup of tea. Instead, he runs around and grabs whatever's handy, plays hide and seek, climbs where he can, and shakes the metal chains. By that time, he'll usually spot some kids riding their skateboards or somebody playing basketball, and we're off on the chase. Last weekend, he couldn't decide who to go after first: The dogs walking nearby, or the bikes...



So he went after some plant life instead. My kid, the gardener. At least someone in this house will have a green thumb!

Interview Time (Machine)

Interviews are tough. They really bring out your deepest fears about looking less than intelligent or competent and throw them right up front for your enjoyment. They force you to return to old college days of preparation, studying, memorization, and repetition so that you aren't left gasping in silence when the panel asks a complex, three-part question analyzing your work history and theories of customer service. They subject you to intense scrutiny about your past, present, and even future, and then expect you to maintain enough lucidity and eloquence to impress the entire panel with your reasoned (and yet enlightening) responses.



Or maybe they are just trying to figure out if you're a good fit, and I'm just a little over-worked because I've been through a few really tough interviews and do not look forward to the one coming up in just one week. The woman who called me to set it up told me up front that I should expect to be in the interview for at least one and a half hours, which will be the longest amount of time I've ever been interviewed. No pressure! I'm already starting to get prepared. I'm looking up similar jobs, checking the background of the agency, researching the city for services that might be connected to this position, and so on. This week is going to be crunch time, because I really, really, really want this job. And I've got a feeling about it, too... we'll see if my hunch is correct in about two weeks!

Pele, Watch Out

I know, I know; Pele is sooo "back in the day." I should be saying Beckham, if I want to only seem a few years out of date rather than hopelessly backwards. Either way, the soccer world is now on alert: Joel is teaching Ethan how to play already!



He even has his own trick moves. And all while holding his refreshing beverage!



Now, how many dads at the park that day could say they did that? Not many, that's for sure. I'm really glad that Ethan is going to have such a great example of a healthy, fun, fit, athletic, and active father to look up to as he grows. It's nice to know that he will be able to play and exercise and be active with Joel, but also be able to have fun and be silly and act like a kid. I really do love that Joel has held onto his youthfulness and zest for life, and that he hasn't started saying "I'm getting old" like so many of our friends. Why do people just give up and start acting like they're too old for things, especially after they get married? How boring! I hope we never end up like that.