Melanie-cholia

It's amazing how much has changed in the past few months since Ethan was born. We just went over to visit Joel's nephew and his brand-new baby boy, and it feels like Ethan was just that size yesterday. I remember when he was so tiny and fragile and light in our arms, and felt like a little doll... now, of course, he's getting bigger and longer every day, and has these great chubby arms and legs that he loves to windmill and kick and play with. I remember when I used to fit him inside my shirt to hold him close to me, skin-to-skin, when he was only a few days old. And now he's already working on keeping his head up and looking around, making "goo" sounds and cooing and blowing bubbles, even reaching out to grab things (kind of) and sucking on his fingers. It's awesome to see him change and grow so much in such a short time. The other day I looked at him and suddenly had a vision of him as a man, and my eyes welled up with tears for a moment. I already know that when he does get to be that age, it'll still feel like all of this just happened, and I'll wonder how the time flew by so quickly...

It's the same way I feel when I see my niece, Leila. I was there when she was born, and when I see her today, at the cusp of 11 years old, I see her throughout her life--giggling 5-year-old, crawling toddler, sitting on my lap or singing or sucking her middle two finers, all of those moments and memories just sort of wash over me when we hang out. And here she is, almost a 6th grader, starting to talk about what it will be like when she has to attend classes in the high school area next year. How did this happen, so quickly?! That's my niece, my little girl, my "favorite"... I think having known & loved (and still loving, of course!) Leila is what lets me love Ethan so much. It's like she stretched out my heart a little bit and made it that much bigger, stronger, more open. I'm glad I got 10 years with Leila before Ethan came along, because it was nice to be able to focus on her while she was small. Now, of course, we have a different relationship-- and one where I see her less, too, unfortunately. But at least she is still in my life. And now she will be able to get to know Ethan from babyhood, while I get to know her through her adolescence and beyond. The great adventure awaits!