Saturday, January 30, 2010


Friday, I finally went in for the procedure I've been hoping to get for so very long. Thank goodness for financing options, right? Anyway, since I'm not sure how to delver the news delicately or tastefully or with any semblance of reason, I'll just come out and say it: Yesterday morning, I got a breast augmentation. Or I suppose it would be more accurate to say I got *two* augmentations, because just one would certainly look a bit odd. For those of you who feel hurt or left out by finding out via the blog, I apologize. For a multitude of reasons, I kept this decision on lockdown, and shared with hardly anyone... there were a lot of things I didn't want to hear and a lot of things I was already telling myself as Devil's Advocate, so I felt like talking about it with others would turn it into a more dramatic and nerve-wracking situation than I wanted.

To make a long story short, I did it because it will make me feel differently about my body, happier about my appearance, more feminine, and more confident physically. My husband supports me 100%, and at this very moment is out with the baby and taking full care of him (and me) while I'm in recovery. Speaking of which: this typing has super exhausted me and it is now time for yet another nappy. ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Unemployment Update: Extensions are So "In"

Just wanted to do the job update: I finally received approval for my first unemployment extension! What a relief. I was really starting to wonder there if things were going to work out for us; I mean, I knew that I qualified, but hadn't received any notices or letters or information at all about whether or not I'd be getting the extension, and how to file my claim. California apparently messed up on about 30,000 people's unemployment insurance accounts, and I turned out to be one of the lucky few. Anyway... game back on! I'm still applying for jobs, of course, but have yet to see any results from that. On another good note, Joel may have a connection for a job himself! Keep your fingers crossed, light a candle, say a prayer, and send positive vibes our way, folks; we need this job!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Molar Bear

My little boy has shown his first molars! He's been having a rough time lately with his teething, because two sets of teeth are trying to come in on his bottom row at the same time; molars in the back and the "canines" in the front. The molars won the race, but man, those were a doozy. He has been resisting eating food since this whole process started a couple of weeks ago, and prefers milk and soft soft purees instead. I can see why, though; when your gums and teeth hurt, you can hardly do anything without pain. Just feed me soup and milkshakes, thanks, because this chewing stuff is for the birds! Well, I guess not for the birds, exactly, because they don't actually chew, but still... you get the point.

Speaking of chewing food and such, I also found a website that generates menus for your infant/crawler/toddler, with suggestions for different types of meals and snacks they should be eating according to their stage of development. As it's provided by a vendor (Gerber), they obviously will be promoting their own products throughout, but it's still a great guide for meal ideas and can be modified depending on your preferences or the baby's dietary needs. Reading it, though, I feel like I'm starving my baby! They give them sooo much food; seriously, I don't know how he would eat that much. Maybe it's because he's still getting too much milk, and is getting full on liquid instead of solids, but that is a whole lotta food to be shoveling down his gullet.

For instance, although it's pretty small and you probably won't be able to read it, here is page 1 of his recommended menu:
Toddler Menu with whole milk_Page_1
... and that's only page 1, of 2!! Go check out the website I linked to above, though, because the menus are pretty durn cool. It gives great ideas for how to include a wide variety of fruits and veggies in their diet, as well as different textures and styles (eat with fingers, eat with spoons, etc.). Definitely an inspiration for me. Yep, I guess it's time to start the *real* feeding... wish me luck!

Monday, January 25, 2010

Date Night

Had a great date with Joel on Saturday... ended somewhat poorly, but the lead-up was awesome! We had planned to go out with a friend, but that was cancelled due to a sick child (oh, the fate of mothers everywhere). Instead, we left Ethan at their house and went out by ourselves to San Francisco for a free night at Ruby Skye. The music was pretty awesome. MindControl, a duo from New York, was there, and they were really putting on a good show. We had so much fun, danced up a storm, and looked-- if I do say so myself-- frickin' awesome. Unfortunately, we overdid the beverage portion of the evening and ended up cutting it short; and by short, I mean that later on I checked our parking stub and noticed that we cut out at 12:28 p.m. WHAT?!? That is barely the beginning of the night! The evening only got worse from there on out, not that I remember much of it; there was some parking, and some nausea, and then some incidents I'd rather not speak of, and then some more that I don't recall with too much clarity. I do remember a couple of snippets of conversation; things like "I'm so sorry" and "Yeah, it does smell kinda rough" stand out in my mind, but the rest is more of a hazy blur. Just goes to show ya: You are never too old to make a fool of yourself or take things past the limit. Yay us? Not really. I'd rather we had slowed down and taken advantage of our somewhat rare night off together, instead of blowing it by getting silly-sick (me) and super-tired of being a caretaker (him). Next time, folks, it'll be different... right?

Saturday, January 23, 2010

But Why Change Yourself?

A dear friend posted a comment about my last blog, wherein I state that I've got one foot on the path towards plastic surgery, and can't wait to start kicking my heels down the road. She was questioning what I want to get done, and (I assume) why. Well, I started to respond via comments and then realized that my comment was turning into a post, so here is my response. Hope that it clears things up a bit...

I've wanted changes in my appearance for as long as I can remember. Maybe it's low self-esteem, or maybe it's responding to the blatant and abusive manipulation of the media, but I've never been entirely pleased with my appearance. The part that used to make me the least happy was related to the hair factor; I have always struggled with having too much in too many places, and being acutely conscious of it. I spent my teenage years (and early 20's, actually) with caterpillars crawling over my eyes, shag carpeting on my arms, and legs that felt like sandpaper mere hours after I'd shaved. My young niece used to refuse to sit in my lap if I had shorts on, because it scratched her skin too much. It was pretty bad, and I did whatever I could to remedy the problem. I've bleached, tweezed, used depilatory creams, been threaded, gone to electrolysis, and finally had laser hair removal. The last was of course the most effective, especially because I'm pretty pale and have very dark hair, which makes the laser treatment much more effective. (I guess this is where I'm supposed to be glad I'm not very tan?? Hmm...) Anyway, hair was my main focus back then, and I still haven't gotten to the point where I'd like to be in terms of reducing the type/amount in various places. But what I did at least helped things get to a more manageable and less noticeable state.

As for the rest of my body, I do believe in exercise and diet to keep things where they need to be-- but that won't fix certain areas. I've always felt that I have a sort of "questionable" femininity; partly because of the hair issue, partly because I feel that my facial features can really appear so harsh at times (they're just so pronounced, you know? chin, cheekbones, etc., so angled and sharp)... and partly because I am just slightly less than voluptuous. During and after the pregnancy, of course, those "womanly attributes" went through some major changes, and that just adds to this overall sense of feeling un-sexy, un-feminine, and unhappy. I never thought I'd have the nerve to actually pursue something like surgery, because I'm so afraid of the reactions other people will have. At this point, though, I'm finally ready. I want this for me; for my own sense of womanliness; for my own sense of beauty; for self-satisfaction; and for fun. And seeing as how it isn't going to hurt anyone, why not? I'm going for it, and I guess I'll just have to deal with the reactions-- good or bad-- as they come.

So, wish me luck. This is my last week as I am; starting Friday, I will begin the process of getting used to the new me. And I can't wait!

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Second... and Third... Opinions

I just went to my third consultation with a plastic surgeon this month. And let me tell you, it was a revelation. The first consult was great-- the doctor was knowledgeable, personable, friendly, informative, kind, and very very nice. It was a great experience. I was ready to sign on for whatever was recommended; my husband, not so much. It was a cost issue more than anything else, so we decided to get a few other consultations to get a better idea of what was out there and what we could get for what we had to give. The second appointment was the complete opposite of the first. The doctor was brusque, even rude at times, and was often physically rough during the "examination" portion of the appointment. I knew from going through the first meeting that things didn't need to be quite that invasive, and at times I even wondered if the doctor was getting some sort of twisted kicks out of being so aggressive with my body. Seriously; I even felt slightly bruised later, as if I'd been wrestling very forcefully or playing rugby, or something like that. After the 2nd appointment, I thought to myself: If the doctor is this rough during *consult*, what will it be like during surgery? Sheesh! I talked it over with Joel and we both decided that the $2500 difference-- although quite a huge difference, financially speaking-- just wasn't worth it.

So I checked the internet again for references, reviews, and recommendations, and found doctor number three. Would this be The One? Would things finally come together? Would we be able to make up our minds, once and for all, about whether or not this was the choice for us?

Apparently, yes. It was an awesome appointment! So great, in fact, that I set up a meeting for the very next day (Friday) to meet with the doctor again-- for a pre-op appointment. EEEK!!!!! This might seriously be happening, and SOON! I'm so excited, yet scared, about the whole thing. Am I being short-sighted? Am I being selfish with money that should, in reality, be spent/saved for our entire family? Am I being vain, and shallow, and egotistical? All these, and many other questions, have been roaming through my mind all afternoon and evening. My husband supports me, but still I wonder; is this something I really deserve? I just feel like I would be so much happier with this change... no matter what I have to go through. And you know what? I think I'm just going to go for it. Strike while the iron is hot, right? Okay, fine-- here goes nothing!

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Fashion Inspiration for BMan'10

Amber Valletta as Angie in Gamer... this is the outfit she wore during most of the movie, and I think it is absolutely perfect for Burning Man. She is also wearing pale pink, calf-high, vinyl platform/raver boots with white knee-high white socks that have three red stripes around the top. I'm going to attempt to replicate it as closely as possible; the eBay search has begun!

Here she is again in another Angie costume; love the ice blue wig and the one opera glove. So classy in her lingerie ;)

I have also been wildly inspired by Lady Gaga's costumes in her Bad Romance video... Here is an overview put together by one of her New Zealand fansites:

But my all-time favorite was the red number she put on towards the end of the video... rroowwrrr!! Definitely want to see what I can do to create this look without spending thousands of dollars on couture lingerie. PS-- It looks much better in the video, where you can see it clearly (this image is blurry, but you get the general idea.)

ANYWAY-- Now that I have some inspiration, it's on to nurture and creation. Let the games begin!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Sew Many Projects, Sew Little Time

Preparing for Burning Man is something I seriously enjoy. I love getting the fabrics together, choosing crazy outfits, and figuring out how to funkify the clothes I already have dedicated to BMan (stuff that's stained or torn or no longer fits, and isn't suitable for donation). I'm on the hunt for ideas and patterns right now, though I already have in mind some specific pieces I want. Last year, I made some boot covers, a shrug or two, a skirt, and modified a couple of shirts to be more Playa-friendly.

This year, I want to make my existing boot covers a little more splashy and a little more furry, a la
bootcovers from vinyl dolls

These are from OsiVinylDoll's shop on, and she has a bunch of other great cyber/rave outfits and extras.

I also want to try to make Joel some thin, "genie" style pants that he can wear during the day to keep out the heat and dust but still cover him up a bit; he's not quite ready for the Tarzan flap some guys were wearing out there. I also want to make him some more vests, his few from last year are pretty beat at this point. I'll be trying to make a couple of different faux-fur hats for our noggins, too, because right now we only have one and neither one of us wants to go sans chapeau.

Another thing I want to try making is a tutu, similar to the one below:

... except that I would be the one making it, rather than spending oodles of cash buying one. Although the one above by mtcoffinz called Neon Kawaii Trashy Tutu is pretty stinkin' awesome.

There's a free pattern for a no-sew version at this site, though I will probably stitch the elastic rather than using a stapler, and probably also cover it with cloth as well so that it doesn't get too scratchy on the tender tummy skin. Anyway, I'll definitely keep updating with pics of my projects. Maybe I should do before and after photos, showing my progress from start (pieces of fabric and miscellaneous gear) to finish (fabulous outfits that should probably be sold for ungodly amounts of cash)... we'll see.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Not Playing Around... Yet

I so badly want to enroll Ethan in toddler-oriented classes, somewhere he can interact with other kids and at the same time build his developmental skills in a fun environment. I searched around (thank you, Internet) and found Gymboree-- and it sounds like exactly what I want. They have a variety of classes for young children from birth to five years old, and the topics range from art to music to active physical play. It just seems so awesome; the equipment they have is perfect for kids, with tunnels and bridges and soft mats to land on, and lots of other developmentally appropriate toys.

The parents whose kids attend seem to love it, and comment that their kids are still excited and interested even after going for a year or more. I would dearly love to enroll Ethan, if only there was a Gymboree nearby. Unfortunately, the nearest one is in Stockton, about 30 miles away. I can't see driving 45 minutes to a 45-minute class, then driving all the way back afterwards. It's not like Stockton outnumbers Modesto's population by two or three times; they are at around 290,000 and we are at 211,000, as of last year. So what is the difference? Why do they rate a Gymboree activity center, while we don't?

I suppose the easiest answer is that someone up there decided to open up a franchise, and no one down here is savvy enough (or financially able, I guess) to do the same. Personally, I think that would be such a brilliant investment. If I had the opportunity, I would definitely do it. Thinking of how many young families are here, and how little there is in town for their kids to do, it seems clear that a Gymboree would be a huge hit. I have had a really hard time finding a mom's group to join, or fun things for me and the baby to do together, and I know that many other parents are in the same position. And it wouldn't only serve Modesto, either, but all of our outlying towns-- Salida, Ceres, Riverbank, even Oakdale and Turlock parents would probably love to get in on the action. Hopefully someone with a little ambition and secure financial backing can get this going soon, because I would sign up in a heartbeat!

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Shut Up. Seriously.

Wow, it sucks to realize that people think you talk too much. Especially when you have a really hard time figuring out how to stop yourself in the future. Do I become one of those people who just sits and nods politely, smiling at all the right moments but not really contributing much more than a "That's nice" or "Oh, really?" to the conversation? Or is it more that my talkativeness is appreciated, but only in strictly measured doses? And should I care enough to change?

Allow me a moment or two to heave a big sigh...

I wish I were more zen about things, instead of so sensitive that I feel like leaving society altogether and joining a convent every time someone criticizes me. When will I finally develop that thick skin I've coveted since my childhood? Hopefully I can learn sooner rather than later to let things flow off my back. Until then, I guess it's time to sit back and take a moment to reflect on how to be at one with stillness, as in this print.


Yeah, I know, good luck with that.

Saturday, January 16, 2010


Why do we want things we know we can't have? Is it a human failing, this desire without any basis in reality? Sometimes I wish I could turn it off, or ignore it, or be more powerful than my own wants. But I guess that's why we have yogis and preachers and higher powers; someone or something to help us strive towards a goal-- the lofty and often unreachable goal of being better than our baser selves. If it was easy, though, I'm assuming that would defeat the purpose, or something. Well, then, fine; bring it on, life, I guess I'll just have to do better.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Shouldering the Burden: Rotate That Cuff!

Being without insurance, this is what some might call the worst possible time to have an injury. But why let that stop you, right? I like to keep things hopping around here, and what better way than to injure myself somehow? Well, life can't be too easy, that would just be boring.

Anyway, the thing is that I've been having increasingly severe shoulder pain for the past couple of months, and lately it has gotten to the point where I am feeling at least an aching, dull pain throughout the day, with episodes of sharper, more excruciating pain with certain specific actions. Things like, oh, I don't know, lifting up my son, or reaching back to him when he's in his carseat, or even raising up my arm from my side. Sometimes even just the attempt to lift up my arm will leave me gasping. In fact, right now I'm having a hard time typing; looks like today is going to be one of the worse days. There are times when it feels like I have icy-hot on my shoulder; a sort of burning cold sensation, yet at the same time it feels bruised. I've been researching on the internet to see what this might be, and it looks like it could be a rotator cuff bursitis or tendinitis, or what they call "impingement syndrome." I'm going to start treating it myself this week, with all of their recommendations:
-- Ice for no more than 15 minutes
-- Rest the shoulder
-- Anti-inflammatory medicines (naproxin, ibuprofen)
-- Passive motion exercises (see articles below)

That is, I'll be treating myself until that blessed day when we are covered by health insurance again. One day...

Of all the websites I found, this one is probably my favorite. I like the way the author, Dr. Nicolas Campos, speaks in a very comfortable, casual vernacular that is easy to understand and even easier to relate to. He describes his own experiences with impingement syndrome and how he dealt with it, as well as the ways that he treats those injuries in his patients, which is nice because it shows that he knows this injury both personally and professionally. His website has a lot of excellent information about the anatomy of healthy and injured shoulders, great pictures and illustrations, and suggestions for treatment. Wish I could go visit his office down in L.A.!

The internet is obviously a treasure trove of informative articles about how to diagnose, treat, and recover from a shoulder injury related to impingement. You can check out the web pages at emedicinehealth and for more information. I know I did. Let's hear it for self-diagnosis!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010


I'm not sure what to do. Be responsible, or just go for it? What a quandary... on the one hand, I should be cautious and carefully husband our meager resources until we're in a better, more stable position. On the other hand, I feel like if we wait utnil then, it will be too late-- and the moment for action will have passed. Not necessarily in terms of being able to do it financially or in other ways, but more likely I will have that much more time to convince myself that I'm just not worth it. There is always something more important that needs to be done, it seems. It's like buying myself clothes; I find it almost impossible to do so when I can think of a million other things to use the money for instead. Things like a new humidifier for Ethan's room, a side mirror for my car to replace the one that was broken several months ago, a savings account, health insurance, and so on and so forth. When you compare something you want to something you need, the right decision becomes much more obvious... just not as satisfying, for some reason.

Still, all that said, I just haven't made up my mind yet. I've always, or at least the vast majority of the time, made the choice that would be best rather than the one that I wanted the most. Even after getting the settlement money from my car accident so many years ago, I mostly did what I should have done... mostly. Paid off credit cards and bills, took care of some medical issues (eye surgery, etc.), purchased some furniture for the first time in my life, and even helped a few loved ones out. What I wanted to do but couldn't bring myself to do was take a few months off and travel around Europe. Instead, I bought a home-- and then ended up losing it in that tiny little housing fiasco you might have heard about recently. Should I have traveled instead? I might never have met my husband if I did. Or maybe he & I should have traveled together, instead of buying the house. Either way, you can't go back and re-do your life, so it's kind of a moot point.

But remembering how often I am responsible and "do the right thing" isn't really helping here, right now, when I am trying to decide what to do in this very moment. I guess I will sleep on it and hope for clarity... or hope to win the lottery, which would solve this dilemma in a heartbeat. Cross your fingers, and scratch me off a ticket!

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Poem: Extrañar

I just got a comment on my blog from someone I don't know and didn't personally refer to the site. It is my first indication that someone out in the void is actually reading my words. I'm not sure if that makes me nervous, excited, or proud, or maybe a combination of all three. Either way, it felt pretty good! It's amazing how just seeing the words "1 Comment" can bring a smile to my face; am I too eager for acknowledgment, for an audience, for recognition? Or maybe I'm reading more into this than necessary, as usual. Forget it; I'm going to ignore my own proclivities towards self-doubt and just enjoy the moment.

On that note, here is a poem I wrote upon the dissolution of yet another relationship several years ago. Before I met my husband, of course. I seem to have my inspirational moments during periods of pain or suffering; perhaps I need to change that pattern so that I can write now, as well as when times are tough.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Extrañar: To find strange, to be surprised, to miss (someone)..."

in the space between loving and being loved
is a darkness more real to me than light
an absence more certain than the company of others
for you are gone,
your heart has fled mine
and will not return.

i suppose i shouldn't be surprised, this time,
but i am.

te extraño
te extraño
¡te extraño!

it does not matter if i whisper it
or scream it from the doorway,
you will not hear me
you will not
and so it drones inside my head
for my ears alone

te extraño.

you have chosen another path,
to make sure you don't miss anything
before settling down.

strange, but i've been thinking lately
that the one thing i don't want to miss
is settling down,
settling into someone
curving my body around a lover
braiding my life into another's
building a future with a partner
beginning a story with the one
who will sit beside me at our ending, as well.

but i guess we're different, you and i
and so it goes
me, here
floating in this abyss
and yet... somewhere in the darkness
is the knowledge that one day
and be loved in return,
passionately and with whole heart,
while you desperately fly from flower to flower
eager to sample as many as you can
before the sun goes down,
leaving you sated, for the moment,
and alone.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Job Worries...

I'm really nervous about this whole unemployment thing. I just got my last pay claim, and should be getting my last check this week-- that is, unless the EDD gets their stuff together and grants the automatic extension that should be coming my way. They sent out a notice saying that they had tens of thousands of errors and were trying to fix them, but that people who *didn't* receive their automatic first extension *should* be receiving it in enough time to not have a long time lag between checks. Since August, I've been receiving them every two weeks. As of now, I may be experiencing a bit of a lull... lull... lull... God willing, it's only a small gap, rather than the end of unemployment altogether. I really hadn't banked on (ha ha, pun intended, I guess) not having any more income. That would definitely put a bit of a crimp in my plans. You know, plans to pay rent and so on. /:)

Sunday, January 10, 2010

To Try, or Not To Try... for Segundo

This is a big decision. We aren't planning on starting on an addition to our family until one of us gets a full-time job with benefits, but we'd both assumed that, once we got secure, we would go ahead and try for another bambino. The thing is, I'm hearing a lot of cautionary tales and questioning comments from people asking us if we're really sure, and I mean really, really sure, that we want another child. It wasn't really a question I'd seriously posed to myself; I just knew (know?) that I want more than one kid. I mean, if we'd met earlier and been able to start having children earlier in our lives, I'd probably want to go for three; at this point, though, I'm not willing to do more than one more pregnancy, because I'm not very thrilled about having babies after 40. That gives me about two more years, then, because at the end of this year I'll hit 38 and be qualified-- again-- as "advanced maternal age," lucky me.

The arguments people make include things like how much time we'd be able to give two kids, especially if both of us are working; how much money it costs to raise a child (especially meaningful when both of us are less than fully employed right now); how it will affect our lives as a couple; how it will affect us physically as we age with little ones; and so on. The thing is, most of the people who are offering up the "devil's advocate" position already had their kids a decade or more ago; they are our age, but parents of a ten or twelve year old. For them, I could see maybe not wanting to start all over with a newborn. For us, though, it's so recent that it's not a huge shift in perspective to think about having another baby. And we're already committed to raising Ethan, with all that goes along with that-- a change in how we take trips, or vacation, or go out on dates, or take on new jobs, and so on and so forth. We are already on that path; is it really that much harder to add another little one to the mix?

For now, I think we'll stick with the original idea, and start on our next bundle of joy as soon as we're able to... and I can't wait. How could I, after having such an awesome experience the first time? :)

Ethan Jan2010

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Blank Check-- Literally.

I got my unemployment check and claim form in the mail today, as usual, and everything looked normal at first-- until I noticed that there was only one week open to record my job search efforts. The other week was marked out, so I read a little closer and the form said that I only have $450 left in my claim. So my next check, which should come in a couple of weeks, will be $450, and that's it. What happened to the extensions that everyone is talking about? What happened to Obama's plan to support those of us who are unemployed in states like California, with such high unemployment rates and no jobs to be found? I'm just a touch scared right now. I'll call on Monday to get more clarification before going into full panic mode, but this may be a very nerve-wracking weekend. Guess it's time to bust out the Chenin Blanc!

Friday, January 8, 2010

Radical Self-Change

It's funny how I can write such forward-thinking posts as the one just prior to this one, full of lofty goals for personal development, and then in the very next minute be thinking about how much better life would be with a little plastic surgery. Or a lot. Does that make me shallow? So be it, then, because I would *love* to get some serious work done. Call me vain, color me tainted by society's perfectionist expectations of women, whatever... I just want some things to make my life a little different. Will *not* doing those things save seventeen people from a life of servitude or hunger? Probably not. Will doing those things automatically make me happy and always a joy to be around? Again, probably not. But will I enjoy doing something for *me*, without first thinking about putting my own desires or needs aside for somebody else? Hell yes.

And guess what? It's gone beyond a consideration; I've actually got some names and numbers ready to be called tomorrow to set up a consultation or twelve. You may not see a supermodel emerge from this, but you very well may see a more confident woman freed from some minor superficial complaints. Happier, yes; perfect, not by a long shot. So go ahead and revile this course, if you will, or cheer from the sidelines; all I know is, I'm going for it full steam ahead! ("It" to be determined at some future date, depending on the costs of the various procedures I have in mind... bwahahahahahaha!!!)

Thursday, January 7, 2010

R to the V

So, we might be in the process of becoming RV owners... woo-hoo! Yes, this is a recession; yes, we're pretty much broke; but we might be on our way to owning an RV anyway. Through a friend, we seem to have gotten a hook-up to an RV that needs some work, but just might come through as a great deal for our family. If it works out, we will now have something to take the baby camping in, something to go the Burning Man in, and-- worst case scenario, of course-- something to live in when all else fails. :) Here's an idea of what it looks like:

dodge rv

... except without the cool colors and the awning. Like I said, it needs some work. But we'll see if we can't make it into something that we can deal with and if not, we'll just sell it to some Burners who need a place to stay. I can deal with that! :)

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Resolutions: 2010

This year, there will be some major changes in my life, I can feel it. In order to facilitate those changes, I'm going to have to make some definitive efforts to getting my self back on track, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I've made some major decisions about the path I will be taking from here on out. Sure, I might stray a few times, but for the most part I plan on sticking to the plan. The plan is this: To become a calmer, happier, more positive person who is less reactive and more proactive; to continue learning about and encouraging my son's developmental progress; to become more physically fit and be active on a daily and weekly basis; to set aside time every day for spiritual learning and growth; and to work on developing my business so that I can be working with clients and turning a profit within two years (2012). In order to achieve those goals, I'm setting some smaller ones below. You can call them resolutions if you wish; I'm just recording them so that I don't forget where I started!

1) Physical activity: I will go the gym with Ethan a minimum of 3 times a week, for at least one hour. This will give him play time with other kids, and help me get back on track physically. I will also walk with Ethan to the park and play at least twice a week; depending on the weather, we may go to the Mall play area instead. I'm currently at 138 pounds; my goal for weight is 120-125. I'm also currently very stiff and inflexible; my goal for that is to do stretching daily and start up a yoga or pilates class at the gym to increase my flexibility.

2) Business goals: I will create a business plan that includes marketing strategies, contracts, equipment required, and so on-- the plan will be written by March 15th. More on that to follow; I still have to research exactly how to do this. :)

3) Spirituality: I will spend at least fifteen to thirty minutes daily on writing or reading for self-awareness. I will also attend a church service once per month until I find a church that speaks to me personally.

4) Parenting: I will implement some "schedules" around here. Things like routines for bedtime, bathtime, and playtime; routines for feeding/mealtime, and for brushing our teeth. Some traditions for our family would be nice, too; I'll do some more research on this and get back to it.

That's a good enough start for now. OH! One more, important thing: I will write in my blog at least five days per week, even if it's only a paragraph. :)