Tuesday, September 27, 2011


I find it so difficult to deal with my husband's intimacy and other relationship issues. I'm not sure whether they stem from his childhood experiences with a father who abandoned his large family, or if it's just a special sort of self-centeredness and selfishness innate to the male gender, but JEEZ LOUISE it's frustrating as hell. I know that I've met other men who are very "into" their families or spouses or kids-- guys who are enthralled by their wives, who look forward to time alone with their child, who actually enjoy being in a family... and I wish that my husband was more like that. Why is it so hard for him to see me & Ethan as just as important as himself?

Take tonight, for instance... he comes home half an hour early from class. Does he think, "Oh, great! I get to see my son before he goes to sleep for once this week!" or even, "Well, Melanie takes care of Ethan every single day after work while I'm in school until after bedtime, so maybe tonight I could step in and take care of tooth-brushing or story time and put my son to bed..." Of course not. He actually told me tonight "I'm still on school time! This is my time to study." HELLO! As if I'm not in school full-time, too? As if I'm not working full-time, and also taking care of Ethan too??

Whatever. I'm just so bugged by the whole thing I can't talk about it.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Fall Camping-- review

We had a great time camping with Ethan and his aunt Stefanie this September, but I believe much of it was due to the fact that Joel's brother let us borrow his camper-van. I mean, it didn't have a functioning heater, A/C, fridge, stove, or bathroom, but it DID have a way to sleep inside away from the bugs, rocks, noise, and cold of outside. Ethan definitely loved it, especially the fact that it had a DVD player and he was able to kick back inside in his carseat and watch "How to Train Your Dragon" for the thousandth time. What an easy-to-please boy!

I don't consider myself a pampered princess by any stretch of the imagination, but I do find myself becoming more and more reluctant to suffer unnecessarily. I'm happy to rough it, but even happier if I can actually sleep without pain... in this case, from the very uncomfortable sleeping area in the camper-van. I thought it would be more like our old RV, which we slept in wonderfully last year at Burning Man. Instead, I could hardly sleep at all because of the pain in my right hip from pressing into the hard platform all night. Add to that the fact that Ethan was sleeping between Joel and me and kept turning his body perpendicular to us, so that his head was resting on Joel's arm and his feet were kicking into my chest or stomach all night. Man, that kid is an active sleeper! I woke up in the morning and could hardly walk. It was pretty painful; thank goodness we remembered to bring ibuprofen, because a couple of hours later I was well enough to go back out for another hike/walk with everyone.

All in all, it was a great weekend, and I'm glad we were able to go. It was worth missing out on homework time to get in some great family time. :)

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Hair Chop

I love my little man... especially with his new haircut. It was getting so long recently that he was complaining about his hair hurting his eyes. Now, I know Joel wanted him to grow it out just like his daddy did when he was a little boy, but come on-- if it's interfering with your vision, it's way too long.

So the other day, when I was cutting Joel's hair, Ethan got all excited about getting his own haircut and I took advantage of the opportunity to shear his locks. Sure, it's choppy in some areas-- but he's still gorgeous!

This is one of the best things about motherhood-- being able to experience this pure, joyous, whole-hearted love and share it openly with your child. I feel so blessed.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Camping Trip!

We borrowed a camper-van from Joel's brother and plan to head up towards Pinecrest-Strawberry on Saturday morning for some camping adventures with Ethan and Stefanie. I've packed everything (I think) except Joel's stuff and the refrigerated food, so we're pretty much ready to go as soon as Joel has his stuff ready.

I can't wait! I love camping, but can't stand freezing to death or sleeping on top of rocks/bugs, so the camper-van seems perfect. Especially when we're bringing Ethan with us... just can't imagine tent-camping with an almost-three-year-old.

The camper-van also seems to be ideal for Burning Man trips... which puts all sorts of little thoughts in my head for next year. :)

Thursday, September 15, 2011

"Lovey" Pants

For the first two years of his life, Ethan had a crocheted baby blue blanket (made for him by our friend Vy Kamrar) that he carried around, pulled apart, and loved nearly to pieces. Just before his second birthday, it "disappeared" into a memory box I'm keeping for him. Since then, he hasn't really found a replacement lovey... until now.

Now, his security item (seen clutched to his chest in this photo) is a pair of tan pajama pants patterned with images of construction vehicles like tow trucks, cement trucks, and caterpillars. He loves those things. He carries them everywhere. And I mean, everywhere. We took him to Ikea once and almost left them behind on a kitchen display-- I thought I was going to have a heart attack, running around from showroom to showroom trying to find them.

He sleeps with them bunched up next to him on the bed, too, and sometimes even gets to wear them to sleep in when it's not too hot at night. I'm trying to find a pair that will fit him when it gets colder... any suggestions would be most appreciated!

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

School Blues

I am feeling so overwhelmed and tired from all of this schoolwork. My current class, Business Law, is intensive and requires about twice or even three times as much effort and participation as my previous courses. This week, for instance, our reading assignment is for 8 chapters-- EIGHT-- which are supposed to be read, understood, and processed before you can even turn in the first assignment on Day 3 of the week. Then there are the two case study discussion posts, citing case law and precedents, then responding to at least two (the minimum required to get a C grade) but preferably more other students' discussion posts... that's per Case Study. So I post two essays, then respond to 2-4 other essays, initiating a discussion in which I'm expected to respond to their responses (and the instructor's) as well.

And that's not even getting started on the weekly paper. Or the term paper. Or the fact that this goes on every week for six weeks until the next class begins. There are no breaks until school ends next August with my graduation. Ugh! Too bad I'm not rich enough to stay home and do this instead of working 8 hrs a day, then coming home to be mom (and dad, because Joel's in school every weeknight until after Ethan's in bed) to a 2 1/2 year old every night. I get to work on schoolwork either during break time or lunch at work, or after Ethan goes to sleep. It's a struggle, but I have to keep reminding myself of why I'm doing it... this is so that we can get on the path to where we want to be with our careers, our family, our home, and our future. Just have to keep that thought up front and center to stay motivated!

Monday, September 12, 2011

Barbecue Time

I threw together some veggies (bell pepper, mushrooms, red onion) and some chicken and pineapple meatballs and used our fish-rack to grill them up...

Ah, sweet, delicious perfection! Between the two of us we ate almost everything. Time for Round 2 yet?

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Pool Boy

It seems that August fairly passed me by with so few posts that you hardly know what happened! Well, for starters, Ethan (re)discovered that he loves his pool.

We got it at Target on sale for only $15... and what a great "toy"! It has a slide, two pools, and can be hooked up to a hose so that water gently (or not so gently) sprays out of the tops of the two palm trees. He adores it. Not so much getting tons of water in his face, but maybe that'll just take getting used to.

For now, he's happy as a clam whenever he's in the water.

In fact, he's started practicing laying back in his bathtub when the water is only a few inches deep... he'll say "Lay down, mom?" and then slowly lower himself backwards into the water, giggling and gasping the whole time, until he's flat on his back. About two seconds later, he's squirming to get up.

I can't WAIT to take him in for swim lessons next year! :)