Darkening

Sometimes it's hard not to be completely overwhelmed by circumstances, no matter how well prepared you think you are or how rational you try to be about the situation. I've been seeing previews of the movie "2012" lately, and it has actually raised the same questions that I always ask of myself when watching these end-of-the-world, apocalyptic movies. The question is this: In the face of what is probably an inescapable doom, would I fight to survive, or just curl up and let it wash over me? It may seem obvious that the answer is to fight and struggle and keep going until your last breath; but is it, really? Remember when you were young, and playing chase or hide-and-seek could get downright scary because you just knew, deep down in your heart, that someone was coming after you-- inexorably, inescapably, unavoidably-- and that sooner or later they would catch you? Remember how it filled you with terror at times, and that there were moments when you just wanted to jump out of your hiding place and say "I'm here!" or stop running and let them catch you? That's sometimes what I think I might do when faced with overwhelming odds. A world-destroying quake in 2012, a world-ending freeze in Day After Tomorrow, a world-changing invasion in Apocalypto; would I be the heroic type who does everything imaginable to get to safety and keep loved ones close as well? Or would I be the girl from Last of the Mohicans who, seeing a future of captivity and brutality, steps off the edge of a cliff? I'd like to think I'd go for the first option, but I sometimes wonder if I'm just too fatalistic for a situation that seems all but hopeless. Then again, that's kind of what life feels like right now, what with our income dropping to below $2000/month for two adults and a toddler-- and that's before taxes-- and I still haven't given up. My spirit hasn't broken yet. Cracked a little, maybe; but not broken. /:)