Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Closing My Ears

A dear friend (T, you know who you are!) has suggested that I make a change in my life... and not a small one, either. You see, she has accurately determined that one of my besetting problems is that I listen to much to others' opinions-- solicited or not-- about how to live my own life. In fact, sometimes I make decisions based on what people might or might not say, think, or do; whether or not they've even done or said anything! For example, I debated for a long time about getting an augmentation done, and the majority of the reasons were not financially based, as you might have thought; instead, my worries were primarily about how I would deal with the people around me and their possible judgments. It turns out, I haven't had any really negative reactions (or at least none that I've heard about!), and also haven't regretted the surgery one bit. In fact, it was one of the best things I've done for me in a long time.

So why do I care so much about other people's opinions? Is this why I'm so attracted to the idea of Burning Man? Because there, you can try to get out of the little box you've stuck yourself in, and be whoever you want without fear of judging or moralizing or negativity? Maybe it's something I need to start practicing in "real life" too; less regard for what other people might say or think about my actions, and more regard for how it makes me feel and how true it is to my real self. Now, there's a goal I can work on for the next few decades. One more step on the path to enlightenment!

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